


Please don't shut me out

by bellofthetolppl



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Clarke is sad, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, and bell comforts her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 05:29:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13183320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellofthetolppl/pseuds/bellofthetolppl
Summary: Bellamy tries to comfort Clarke after her dad passes away





	Please don't shut me out

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! I wrote this a very long time ago, picking a prompt from a list on tumblr and after months of it gathering dust in my drafts I decided to post it! Hope you like it!

“Please don’t shut me out, okay?” she hears his voice from the other side of the closed door. Her breath hitches when she realizes he’s worried, way too worried for her. He shouldn’t be, it’s not really worth it.

“Just go away, Bellamy” she tries to steady her voice ”I don’t want to talk to anyone right now.”

“It’s been two weeks” she hears him slide down on the floor and she tries to imagine what he looks like. 

Was he wearing that same blue plaid shirt that was a bit too big for him but he loved and wore around the house and the garden just because it was his dad’s? 

Or was he in his coffee shop uniform-that dark t-shirt with the black jeans and the red line around the collar and the sleeves that couldn’t suit a guy like Bellamy just because they were too dark. 

And it’s not like the man didn’t have darkness in his life, it’s not like he was supporting his addicted-to-the-alcohol mother and raising his sister but still...he looked better in any other color but that one.

”And I know that I just...I can’t imagine how hard it is for you” that’s a lie, he could. 

He has lost his father too. Might not be at a conscious age, but Bellamy knows pain. Still, he would prefer to undermine his own for her sake

”But please,” he repeats ”Please, just let me in” she remains silent on her end, squeezing her eyes shut and letting her tears go before angrily brushing them away and looking up at her messed up room. 

It was dark all around her, even though it was summer outside and the sun could be gently warming every corner of her room. She hated it, though, she has never been a day person. She preferred the night. 

That’s how she met Bellamy after all. It was a bit after she moved in with her parents here. The neighbourhood wasn’t perfect but was still pretty decent for the small town of Arkadia and Bellamy’s family house was just on their right. 

She had gotten herself up on the roof, just cause it gave her a better view and just enough space so she could breathe only to find out that the guy living next door-he obviously liked his rooftop very much too. They didn’t talk that night, just smiled from the opposite ends until she took out her notebook and began drawing. 

That continued for about a week until one day when their parents were about to drive her to school he came out of his house and was casually swept up in a conversation by her dad. They got introduced and later that evening they both sat on her rooftop after he came home pretty late, much to her surprise until she found out later he was working two jobs and keeping his family together.

“Clarke?” he asks weakly again ”If you don’t want to let me in, just...open the door and let me take you out, okay?”

“I can’t face the world” the sentence escaped her lips before she could stop herself and she could only hope he didn’t hear that ”Not yet.”

“Okay, then please just open the door” he asked for the hundredth time and she sighed defeated. 

He’s been coming here every day since the funeral, waiting outside her door. Sometimes he wouldn’t talk, just stay here and let her share a comfortable silence with him. Other times, he would talk about his day at work or Octavia and her new addiction to boxing training or about Raven’s new radio invention or Monty’s moonshine. And some days he would stay outside and let his heart break with hers as he listened to her rage inside and destroy her room in panic and anger. Her dad was gone and he couldn’t do anything about that but he still stayed and she owed it to him to eventually open that door.

When she did, he was obviously way too surprised that she’s done it because it took him a second to jump off the floor and face her. She was right-he was in his blue plaid shirt with a white t-shirt hanging loosely underneath and his old ragged jeans on. He moved his glasses up his nose and she saw just how bloodshot and tired his eyes were-probably as much as hers. 

Once again she hated herself for doing this to him. 

“Bellamy-” she begins, her voice barely a whisper, belonging to a ghost of the girl she used to be.

“We don’t have to talk” he reassures as he raises his hands in defence ”We don’t have to do anything, I’m not here to torture you” he states and she gives him a weak smile as she moves away from the door and lets him inside. 

If he’s surprised by the way he finds her room to be, he doesn’t show it. Instead he closes the door behind and watches her head back to bed where she’s been spending most of the last two weeks. She hasn’t eaten much really and the soup her mom left for her last night was untouched. Abby would come and put the plate for her either on the floor outside or if the door was opened, on her desk but eating was the last thing on her mind and he could see she’s lost weight. Way too much for his liking. 

“Go ahead” her voice is colder than she would like it to be. But then again things lately aren’t the way she wanted them at all so ”Judge me” she has noticed his eyes tracing the things thrown all over the room, there was some broken glass from the lamp she pushed yesterday, near the window, clothes all over the place, her advanced Biology books and unfinished assignments tossed away in the corner. She only started the classes last month but she was ready to give it up. 

Maybe being a doctor wasn’t for her after all. 

“Never” his voice makes her breath hitch and she looks at him. 

He seems like he’s pissed about something, but he certainly manages to swallow it down and get over it before he strolls over to her bed and carefully lays down next to her. 

The scent of vanilla ice latte and grease-all a trace from his three workplaces, the coffee shop, and the garage where he worked with Raven, hit her when he laid down. 

For a moment she could almost imagine herself a few weeks ago when they were taking a walk in the park after lunch and she was complaining about the trivial things like having too many assignments or her feet hurting because of the heels.

“I miss him” she says after a while. She has no idea how long he’s been lying there his arms crossed behind his head, staring at the same ceiling as her-painted like a starry night with the help of her dad after they moved in.

“That’s fine” he states carefully and then she turns to look in his eyes. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop feeling that way” she admits and she knows the tears are threatening to fall. 

“Clarke” he takes her hand in his and rubs a few gentle circles with his thumb ”Of course you’ll always miss your father” she squeezes her eyes and wants to blink the tears away but instead they just roll down her cheek and she buries half her face in the pillow ”Hey, hey, no!” his hand moves to her cheek ”Don’t hide away from me.” he moves her head to the left so he could look at her ”Don’t hide your pain away. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.“

“I’m not ashamed, I’m scared” she mumbles quietly and for the first time in the past two weeks she’s having an honest conversation with someone about this. 

“What of?” she takes her time before looking up to see his deep brown eyes that always comforted her.

“Everything” she admits and draws a shaky breath in before staring down at their intertwined hands ”That the pain will never go away. That I’ll be fucked up like this for the rest of my life” she tries to take a deeper breath now but it’s somewhat harder for her and she feels his hand tighten around hers ”That-that I-I won’t-”

“Hey, hey, stop it!” this time she feels his body move closer and his hand coming around her waist pulling her closer to him. ”Come here, take deep breaths” he orders when he feels her panic. 

He could easily recognize panic attacks, Octavia used to have them often as a kid and you could say he was experienced in it. She digs her head in his chest and he moves his hands up her back in a soothing manner until her breathing goes back to normal and her tears start wetting his shirt. Her hand fists his t-shirt and he hugs her closer.

”I know it’s hell, Clarke” he whispers in her ear” And it will be hell for a while before it’s better, but-” he takes a deep breath himself as she shudders once more ”You will go through it, I promise” her sobs quiet for just a second and he knows she’s listening to him. He buries his hands in her hair and places a soft his on the top of her head.   
”Just let me help, okay?” he feels her nod against his chest and lets himself relax for a minute.

It was a start.


End file.
